She Lived
by LiliesOnPluto
Summary: Ha Ni is severely depressed and tries to commit suicide. Will Baek Seung Jo be able to help her?
1. Chapter 1

**"Ha Ni?"  
"Yah Ha Ni are you waking up?"  
"Go get her appa Ha Ni is waking up!"**

Soft murmurs spread into her ears, what she thought were unpleasant noises pestering her from her slumber. Oh Ha Ni opened her eyes with difficulty, feeling as if they had been glued shut for years. Once the girl had slight eye sight, she could see the people she cared for surrounding her bed. Where was she? What are these cords? Was she in the hospital? Why?

_Oh no._  
_I made it._

Ha Ni burst into tears. She had lived. Omoni hugged her with shaking arms. "I thought you weren't coming back, my dear. Oma loves you sooo much."

Ha Ni had made it.  
She hadn't died.

_Why am I alive? WHY?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS? WHY DID SOMEONE SAVE ME?!_

Ha Ni shook uncontrollably and cried until the point where she vomited, but she was used to that. She then fell asleep, once again, shaking, in Omoni's arms.

* * *

**HI! So I hope you guys like this little twist on Playful Kiss (hey that rhymed) And don't worry my chapters will be longer in the future, this was just a little taste of the story. Hope to see you guys review and follow! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! It's been a while, hasn't it?! Sorry. I've had writers block. And still do. I have so many ideas for this story yet I don't know how to put them together! By the way, I have struggled with depression before, maybe not this severe though! But I do know what it feels like. btw I'm really bad at writing and never have been good. I'm english though...I guess it shows how literature is not my best subject lol

This story is senior year of highschool

Three Months Earlier

* * *

Over the past few months Oh Ha Ni has changed. Maybe her friends or family did not notice, but Ha Ni felt the changes in herself. She found herself not wanting to awaken, and to lay in her sheets for the rest of the day. To curl up under the sheets and lie in the restlessness. That was what she usually did on her days off from high school. The girl didn't know why, but she felt...useless.  
unwanted.  
unloved.

* * *

"Come on Ha Niaaaah it will be fun! If you don't feel comfortable with anything there then that's fine, we'll leave!" Yoon He Ra said trying to convince Ha Ni to go to a party. This party was a big event everyone was waiting for excitedly. Ha Ni was a little confused and shocked.

Why would they invite me? I'm ugly and stupid and...I could go on forever.

"YAH! YOU GOT INVITED TO TAE JOON'S PARTY?!" Joo Ri screamed at the top of her lungs walking down the shopping streets.

"Aigoo, stop it Joo Ri, everyone's staring at me now..." Ha Ni's stomach felt like it had dropped seeing strangers looking at her and judging her every move. She quickly hid her face behind her hair and tried to walk straight.

"Ha Ni...why aren't you happy about this? You could be one of the cool kids. You get to party."  
Min Ah spoke softly as she looked in the other direction, distracted by the people of the streets.

_Because they're just inviting me as a joke._

"Because I don't have anything to wear and it will be no fun without you guys anyway!"

"OMO MIN AH, HA NI, WE'RE GOING IN HERE!" Joo Ri did a little dance and grabbed both of the girls. She had found a boutique that had a mysterious sexy feel to it. Joo Ri thought it would be the perfect place to find a dress. She is known for having that sixth sense!

They decided on a ruched one shoulder mini dress with small diamond cut outs on the sides. Joo Ri also forced her to go on a shopping spree for new undergarments, because she has seen her taste in panties.

Ha Ni was easily exhausted and ready to pass out when she got home, but she sat down to eat with the family. The only thing she could think of was her distaste for the food. She never really had an appetite ever since a few weeks ago, but she ate at least once a day to make her family happy.

* * *

During Dinner

* * *

"Ah that's right! Ha Ni, Seung Jo, Eun Jo. Your father, Ha Ni's father, and I will be going to a wedding of one of our close friends who moved to down south in Korea, so we will be gone for about four days. I'm sorry to tell you so late! Really! And Seung Jo! Make sure to take care of our Ha Ni...and Eun Jo, too, of course! We'll be leaving tomorrow!"

They all just sat there in silence at the sudden news, confused and thinking 'what the hell'

_At least it will be easier to sneak out._

"Excuse me."  
Ha Ni excused herself from the table and went upstairs quickly. Not wanting to talk to anyone anymore.

In The Shower

Ha Ni lathered her body up in her favorite soap and rinsed off. She didn't like showering anymore, because she hated when she could feel her own disgusting body. She usually sat in the tub with the water running for about thirty minutes. But something called to her today. While sitting, letting her hair drip over her shoulders, she watched her razor. Itching to touch the blades. To see her own blood.  
It wouldn't make her feel better but...it would make her feel more..._human_.

Ha Ni dried herself off and rubbed her hair in a towel until it was messy but less drops came from her shoulders. While reaching for her stuff she couldn't find her panties.

That's weird...I could have sworn I brought them in..."

Sneaking a peek out into the main upstairs and seeing no one was there, she quickly tip toed out to reach her room (guys you should know this scene you know what I'm talking about) when a sudden black thing flew in her face holded up by a strong looking hand. It was her underwear. Bought by the one and only Joon Ri.

"Looking for something?" A cocky eighteen year old said happily as he held up Ha Ni's pair of black lace panties. She reached out of the doorway to grab them, but they just kept getting farther away.

"Yah! Seung Jo, stop it." She fully came out dressed in nothing but a towel. She didn't want to be teased tonight. She just wanted to be in her sheets. Seung Jo, surprised at the way she looked. Baffled, he kept his eyes strictly on her face. Sometimes straying his eyes to look down at her collar bones, which looked a little more prominent than usual.

"Give me my underwear." She held her hand out.  
"Aigoo you're so not sexy. Fine." He fit the underwear like a hair net on her head. Satisfied, he walked away. Of Course Seung Jo was shocked and embarrassed at the underwear but he couldn't show that in front of Ha Ni. He would never!

"Wait...Seung Jo."  
"neh?"  
"What would happen...if I suddenly was gone?"  
"Maybe it would be more quiet around here." He turned and walked into his room.

Ha Ni stood in the room, holding onto her towel, wearing underwear on her head, wanting nothing but to go back in the bathroom and hurt herself.****


	3. An accident can be good sometimes

chapter 3

Hey guys! don't have me. Major depression and really bad medical problems have really put me in a bad position. But I'm back now and that is all that matters.

Some things you should know before we start:

Omma and Appa's (Seung Jo's parents) field trip to the wedding will be a little later in the story and for about two weeks because Ha Ni still needs to develop more.

I might change the first chapter. I'm still not sure though. and the rating.

And I love you guys. thanks for reviewing and following. It keeps me going.

Three days after the encounter with Seung Jo and her panties.

"Damn it!" Seung Jo whispered to himself as his brother quietly slept across the room. It was the middle of the night and sleep just wouldn't come to him. His hands flew to his head and ruffled his messy dark-caramel hair. The teenagers mind was flooded with images of Ha Ni in that horribly small towel, caressing all of her sweet curves that he wouldn't dare of telling her he loved. Dreams filled his head for the past two nights about Ha Ni's towel slipping off to fall on the floor in slow motion, while she bared everything to him. He could imagine himself devouring her-all of her. To taste her soft lips, to hold her supple breasts while they bounce in his hands, to run his tongue across her navel ever so slowly, and to squeeze her ass while she curved her back to expose her even more. He could practically smell her from across the hall. His hormones were raging. He knew what this feeling was, because of the magazines he borrowed from a friend when he was about thirteen. And he didn't know what to do about it-and his boxers were now in the shape of a tent.

_Being an eighteen year-old virgin is hard. Literally. What do boobs even feel like?!_

Seung Jo was starting to get very frustrated at himself for not ever accepting those girls for their offers to- well to put it roughly- "do him." But...Seung Jo recently realized that the only person who makes him feel this way is Ha Ni. But he would never tell her that. His pride would hurt so much that he would probably never want to face another day with her again. And he certainly didn't want his mom to know how he felt about her.

The now very aroused teenager got up and decided to take a nice hot shower. No, not cold. Because today he needed to pleasure himself, otherwise, the next time he would see Ha Ni was the next time he would take her by force.

Besides, it was the middle of the night and everyone was asleep. No one could hear anything in the shower anyways.

* * *

+-With Ha NI

* * *

Ha Ni held the small blade in her hand, intrigued by the sharp object that could so easily cut her open.

She had finally taken her razor out and separated it into pieces.

What am I even doing with this? How is it going to help me at all?

Frankly, she knew what depression was, but it just didn't occur to her that she was a person who had the disorder.

That's impossible. Depression is for people who actually have problems in their lives. I have a perfect life. I have a family who loves me. I'm staying in school...why am I so sad?

She started to think of herself. It dawned on her. The whole reason she was sad. She hated everything about herself. She was fat, ugly, unsexy, uncute, stupid, loser, disgusting person who didn't deserve to even live on this planet. No wonder Seung Jo didn't like her. She finally understood why. She would never be good enough for him. Or anyone.

Tears started to run down her cheeks. She wished she was dead. No...she wished she was never even born.

Ha Ni layed down next to the razor blades spread on her bed. She watched them as if they were a piece of expensive jewelry as she cried her heart out. She knew no one would hear. It was midnight and the only other person she could hear that was awake was someone in the shower. Probably Seung Jo, since it was way past Eung Jo's bed time.

She heard the shower turn off in mid cry and instantly closed her mouth. Startled by the sound of him dropping something in the bathroom, her arm swung too close to the razors and precisely cut a little deeply across her lower wrist.

OUCH! She hissed in pain. And she was that she was bleeding. The first aid kit was in the upstairs bathroom. Figuring Seung Jo would be out by now she ran across the hall towards the bathroom, but stopped when she stepped on an article of clothing.

_No way._

Blushing, Ha Ni had forgotten all about her bleeding wrist and held black and what looked like tight fitting boxers that had the words "Calvin Klein" written on the band of them, in her hands.

She was going to get revenge.

Ha Ni could hear muffled footsteps in the bathroom so she hid on the wall next to the door. The knob turned and Ha Ni quickly took her chance to dangle the garment in front of the open door.

* * *

Seung Jo was surprised, more than anything. He thought no one was awake, especially Ha Ni. He could because no one else had more softer looking hands than her.

He reached for the boxers, but Ha Ni jerked them out of his reach until he fully came out of the door to face the girl.

Both unexpecting of what the other was wearing.

Ha Ni, obviously in her pajamas, (a dark green oversized shirt that just reached below her bum, and thigh high light grey socks) stared at her crush for three years in nothing but a thin damp towel loosely hanging around his hips with fascination. Seung Jo quickly grabbed his boxers from her hands while he had the chance, noticed what she was wearing and felt the blood rushing somewhere...else...again. It was a bit embarrassing to see her right after he just pleasured himself with images of her in his mind wearing the exact same thing.

They both looked each other up and down for about two seconds, which was the longest two seconds of their lives. Ha Ni felt warm in her lower stomach and couldn't keep her legs still.

The silence was unbearable for them. Seung Jo decided the best thing to do was argue with her because he's a genius.

"Well now you peek at me in the shower too, I'm surprised Ha Ni, I didn't think you could get much creepier."

"Excuse me? I just happen to need to use the restroom while you were in the shower and I thought you were already out! I wouldn't want to see you naked anyways. Let alone with a towel on."

This got Seung Jo a little ticked off. He pushed it further and caged her against the wall with his hands on either side of her, their bodies were close.

_Don't get too carried away Seung Jo._

He wasn't listening to his mind anymore. He just wanted her. his face close to hers. He was getting more and more excited.

"Don't even lie to me Oh Ha Ni. You obviously like me. And here's your chance to do whatever you want to me. Go ahead."

Ha Ni, surprised and furious, knew he didn't think she would do anything. She was about to change that. But it was getting harder and harder to breathe. Her eyes going in and out of focus. She was just tired but she would finish this once and for all. SHE would be the tease this time.

"Really Seung Jo? You really want me to do that? Because right now I'm so _horny_ for you." She didn't know what she was saying. She was angry and losing consciousness. What's going on?

**_WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT?! DID I ACTUALLY JUST SAY THE WORD HORNY IN FRONT OF SEUNG JO?!_**

She put her hands on his shoulders and glided her fingers down his pecks, and slowly tracing her fingers across his abs.

As much as Seung Jo enjoyed what was happening something felt weird. She would never do this, what's going on?

They both didn't notice the blood running down her fingers and arm for two different reasons.

Ha Ni finally couldn't take it any more. She was trapped and felt nauseous. She finally noticed the blood on all over his body. Seung Jo stood there looking into Ha Ni's while she expresses a thousand emotions at once.

She finally meets his gaze, glazed over eyes and pale face. This is when he realizes something is very wrong, and Ha Ni's arm is covered in blood. "S-Seung Jo.."

In a swift motion Seung Jo kneeled on the ground to look at her arm when her knees gave out and she started to fall.

Seung Jo caught her just below her underarms and lifted her onto his torso. One arm holding her by her waist, and the other acting like a seat for her bottom.

He was confused, but his instincts kicked in to protect the one he liked. "Stay with me Ha Ni." he mumbled as he used his foot to kick her door open.

He layed her down on the bed and inspected her cut. He was beyond frantic in his mind, and this is the first time he has ever panicked like this. "Ha Ni! Yah Ha Ni! Are you awake?"

She slowly opened her eyes and nodded.

"I'll be fine. Will you get me the first aid kit so I can bandage this up?" She was really dizzy.

"I'll do it. Try to stay awake for me okay?"

Seung Jo ran out of the room.

_If this is what one tiny blade can do..._

_I wonder what will happen if I do this on purpose..._

* * *

le end of chapterrrr. let me know if it's okay.


	4. Chapter 4

"Ha Ni," Seung Jo talked while wrapping the wound on Ha Ni's arm "What happened to your arm in the first place?"

Frantic thoughts ran through her head. What could she even tell him?

"A-ahah...just, an accident. No big deal." She turned her head away from Seung Jo.

"By the way...Seung Jo, please, don't say anything to Appa..or anyone. Don't let them worry..."

The boy paused in the middle of his task and looked up, finding that Ha Ni had fallen asleep. He took this time to examine her.

She was pale. Very pale. Her lips that used to be so pink and happy, now lay lifeless on her face, the same shade as her white cheeks. Her cheeks...he always wanted to pinch them. They were the chubbiest cheeks in Korea. He used to hate them actually, and thought it was un cute. Now things are different. He missed those cheeks and desperately wanted to see them raise when she smiled. They're gone now. He noticed that she thinned out everywhere. She looked so fragile, laying on that bed. A porcelain doll that would shatter at someone's touch.

"Oh girls and their diets."

**And with that last statement he finished wrapping her wrist and walked back to his bedroom. **


End file.
